So today we are off to another ultrasound. I am excited because I am hoping to find out the sex of the baby. I do not find it fun to wait until the baby is born, I am too old for that kind of surprise. :) Maks says we are going to have a baby girl. That would be awesome. I know it sounds really cliche but I really just hope for a healthy baby. But, if it is a girl I will be even more excited.

Ready to come back! I think.....

It has been such a long time since I have touched the blog posts. It is not that I wanted to quit, I just got so busy and then ... we got pregnant! It is awesome news and I feel incredibly blessed but I was so sick for three months that there was little I wanted to do or even accomplish. Now that I am done with the excuses I will try and move on.

When I last wrote I was working on my Sketchbook Project. I have finished the sketchbook and hope to upload some pictures very soon before I send it back to the Boston Art Museum. It is a little late but I was grateful for the extension. It was a great project for me to finish because it forced me to do the artwork that I always put to the side when busy. I learned a long time ago that it is essential for me to create art for therapy and then I am always surprised when I never make the time to do any.

I am also excited that my son has developed his own creativity. Maks has started to take his own photos. In fact, he has been quite the little photographer. Now he has his own camera, don't worry, we didn't buy him a new camera, he has my old one that is only 6 megapixels but he loves it because it is all his. It amazes me how good some of his pictures are and my husband his working on a digital gallery for just photos by Maks.

I find inspiration in my son and in my husband.

More Inspiration

Today I received two new books as resources for the Art Program. I am loving these books: "Playing With Books: The Art of Upcycling, Deconstructing and Reimagining the Book"
"Drawing Lab: 52 Creative Exercises to Make Drawing Fun"
I encourage you to stay tuned for drawings and sculptures I will try and create from these books. Hopefully, they will help me out with my Sketchbook Project too!!! (Did you see the apple I made out of the old book? I need to ink and finish it still.)

It's HERE!!!!

And now let the creativity process begin....ummm.....yeah......

The theme is "Trading Forever". I am feeling a little anxious about this project because I have no idea where ti start. So, I sit here (in my grade 9 Art class) and I wonder....where to begin.

I am asking for some input. What would you trade forever?

I am Finding Inspiration

It has been a long time since I have been this excited about something. I came across this website: www.arthousecoop.com and found this art project. I am anxiously awaiting my sketchbook and already brainstorming my ideas for the "Trade Forever" theme.

I will blog progress pictures and struggles I encounter throughout this project. I love the idea behind the project and it fit perfectly with the original design for this blog. Wish me luck.

I Believe

I believe in Kindness.
I believe in Compassion.
I believe in Education.
I believe in Tolerance.
I believe in Understanding.
I believe in Family.
I believe in My Son.
I believe in My Marriage.

I believe that many people have the same beliefs that I do yet I am still disheartened and confused. There are people who say they believe in kindness and compassion but are:

Unable to show Kindness.
Unable to show any Compassion for others.
Unable to believe in Education and Life Long Learning.
Unable to show Tolerance for anyone who is different or struggling.
Unable to show they Understand or have any Empathy for you or your family.
Unable be with their Family because of a difference in beliefs.
Unable to cherish moments with their Children.
Unable to appreciate and support Their Loved Ones.

It has been an unusually hard week of Deep Thoughts. (And not the ones provided by John Handy). With the death of Tim, I have been struggling to find positive moments in my classes and in society. I was beginning to think that maybe I had officially become one of those "Burnt Out" teachers that needs to leave the profession.

Tim's funeral was hard and confusing. I left the service not feeling better about Tim and his life but, instead, feeling lost and confused about how we care for each other. I guess it is difficult to find people who have strength and integrity in the face of sickness but Tim lived with courage and kindness to all. The fact that there was a large collection of family and friends there to share in his life was proof. He touched many with his devotion to his faith, his determination to beat Cancer, and his dedication to raise funds and awareness for children with Cancer. Then why the negativity that surrounded his funeral...?

Our school held our Terry Fox Run only days after Tim had died. I was already in a difficult place with his loss but it was amplified by the lack of Empathy from our students for Terry Fox and his fight. Please keep in mind that it was a small section of students and that I do realize that I am painting a lot of students with one paint brush but, it was easier to see the negativity than the good at the moment. First, very few of my students turned up to class simply because they did not want to participate in the Terry Fox Run/Walk. That made me sad. Then, as students were coming into the classroom I would ask them for donations. We had tried to collect a "Toonie" from each student in the school for Terry Fox. I didn't think a "Toonie" was too much to ask but I was hoping to just collect some spare change from these older kids. It was difficult as a couple of students would walk in with entitlement, attitude and absolutely no possibility of giving any change to the cause. I was emotional. "So, we have a former student who spent the last 8 years fighting Cancer and raising money and you can't get the change out of your car to donate?" May not have been the best thing to say but I was upset and they knew it as my eyes started to fill with tears.

In my one English class, we are studying "Lord of the Flies". We were having a discussion about some of the themes and motifs from the novel. I was talking about how William Golding was turning his back on the idea that we are all inherently good, by writing a novel about how we are actually inherently evil when given the right circumstances.

One student put up her hand: "Mrs. Carriere, Do you think we are inherently good or evil?"

"Oh, such a touchy subject for me this week." Given with a sigh and a slight smile.

I went on to talk about how disheartened I was in today's youth with the Terry Fox Run, the bullying that is happening around the world and complete lack of respect for their own education. (I know, I said heavy thoughts all week) I went on to explain that I knew I was overgeneralizing their culture but that it was a difficult week when all I could see was the negativity in the faces of Adolescents today. I pointed out that the jar on my desk which is supposed to collecting "Pennies for Peace" has been only filled by me and my spare change and that I am constantly fighting with students to care about their education and to take pride in what they are doing in classes. I know, I Know, ...I was young once too. But, I am pretty sure that I cared about school and that I would feel for the suffering of others. Now, there is a very large population of students at our school that showcase their compassion every day. We have a very successful "Students for Change" group, a strong "Leadership" class and overall, a really positive school environment. As I said, it was just a hard week to focus on the "Good".

Even Pop Culture seemed to searching with "Glee's" latest episode on Religion. I cried through the episode feeling the hurt that Kurt would have gone through because of a lack of understanding and tolerance with his sexuality. This got me thinking about all of those kids that still struggle with bullying and that horrible period of "Storm and Stress" that adolescents go through in searching for who they are and what they will believe in the future. Can we stop Bullying? Will there always be those students who need to bully others to find out who they are?

I have learned that I have an amazing husband who loves me unconditionally, a son that I cherish every day, a group of family and friends that are compassionate and also love me unconditionally and, there are a lot of students who care about others and themselves. Through my art work (pictured above) and many conversations over the past week, I am back in a better place and I am not the "Burnt Out" teacher that needs to leave. (At least not yet...)

If you have been able to make it through this incredibly long post, I apologize; It seems that I have been able to put the week's worth of missed blog entries into one long post. I will leave you with one of my favorites quotes from this last week:

"Mrs. Carriere, I know that a lot of students hate you. But, I am really glad that I am in your class and that there are people like you around. " (ummmm, thanks?)

In Memory of Tim

I am not sure where to even start...I heard today that Tim Harriman had lost his battle with Cancer. A fight that wasn't even fair in the first place; Diagnosed at 14, Tim has been fighting Cancer for over 8 years, and has now lost a future that was bright and limitless.

I knew, and taught Tim, while he was attending high school. He was always a kindred spirit. A student that refused to give into the disease and a student who remained positive that he would beat Cancer. It didn't matter how sick he was, Tim was always determined to stay caught up in his school work, He was always more concerned with his peers. I didn't know that Tim and his wife had a blog, I have included the link to his blog and his Spokesman Tour when he traveled across the country to raise awareness and money for children diagnosed with Cancer. Take a look and learn a little bit about the Person who gave me hope and hope to thousands of children.

www.timandchrista.blogspot.com
www.spokemantour.com

I am devastated by the loss but, I feel better knowing how many people Tim has touched with his positive attitude, determination and his legacy of hope.

I will miss you Tim and think of you often. I know that you are now at peace and watching over all of us.